Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Mittens and his faces

     Oooops!  It is a very self-aware, extremely clever and rare sociopath, so I hear/read, that doesn't end up eventually accidentally dropping his mask and/or stepping on his dick, and good 'ol Alex finally slipped up, and we saw the real McCoy once we reached a critical mass with a combination of his ego, grandstanding and alcohol.  About time.

     All the gory details have been covered by more eloquent writers than I, but I feel like getting this off my chest anyway.  As I've said in the past, the very, very, VERY best fucking tears are griefer tears, and despite all the attempted lame-assed defense by all the Mittani psychophants and and junior sociopath-wanna-be TOS experts, the Mittens, or more accurately ALEX, got his pee-pee whacked.  Decently hard too.  A respected blogger over at Jestertrek, believes good old Alex just got his personas mixed up, poor baby, and had the drunken slip-up at Eve fest.  I disagree.

     I've been computer gaming since the mid 80's, and playing MMOs since the early 90's.  One thing I've learned/experienced/become aware of, is that assholes in real life are assholes in games.  Nice people in real life are nice people in games.  Nice people in real life don't "pretend" to be assholes in games.  It isn't in their nature, and by the "asshole" moniker, I mean overtly going out of their way to grief, bother, harass and generally intentionally try to make the other players' gaming experience miserable.  Why would they do this?  In a beer hall psychologist's nutshell, because their lives are basically miserable, and they are aware of this, but yet they are too lazy, too arrogant or too stupid, or all three, to get off their ass and fix their shit.  Instead, they have deluded themselves into thinking that by trying to make other people more miserable than themselves, by comparison, their lives are better.  Reality always comes back though, and in the real light of day, they're still fucked.  Perhaps a sweeping generalization, but still fairly accurate.

     When I talk about "miserable", I'm not talking about PVP.  I don't mind PVP, but I don't drool, all wild-eyed every day until I can log on to Eve and can flip someone or gank a miner.  I might be loud, maybe opinionated and a little abrasive, but I am pretty happy with my life and my situation, and don't get an eye twitch every time I let a neutral fly off in low sec.  Lil' Mittens, on the other hand, is an asshole, and is free to let that come out in Eve.  He can't be himself in real life, except maybe in front of a crowd in Iceland - HA HA! - but he can certainly screw people over at will in Eve, and he has a throng of mindless asshats that follow him around trying to validate their useless lives too.

     Ever the snake oil salesman, Alex listed his immediate "fixes" for his antisocial, and illegal comments.  Apologize - done.  Give away all his money to the dude - he gave him billions, supposedly, and even if he did give away all his cash, his little herd of mindless thralls would likely donate iskies to the point that he is back to a billionaire.  Lastly, resign from the council - err, wait - maybe we can vote on it . . NOT!  CCP finally woke the fuck up and punted his ass.  Mittenzes "claims" to accept his 30 day ban, but in his State of the Whine-ion, err Goonion address (no meaningful difference, IMO), poor lil Alex mentions a number of times how CCP fucked him and "threw him under the bus".  The piss ant isn't sorry, hasn't manned up, in fact, he's having a little temper tantrum at the end of April in Jita and is planning to fuck with as many players as possible, and is hoping convince/plead/cajole as many other assholes as possible to fuck with as many other players as possible, in all the trade hubs.  The Alex-hole is back in only 30 days, ergo, CCP didn't fuck with him near hard enough.  He isn't, and never was, a representative of Eve players and while he may be influential on the player council, in my book, he's no loss.

     Lets see if CCP can HTFU and get it through their thick skulls that they can't have Eve grow past being a cult/clique game, and have it operate like the wild, wild west.  Chaos and dog-eat-dog mentalities don't work.  They don't work in real life, didn't last in real life, and oh look!  Real people are playing games like Eve!  Won't last in Eve either.  People got together and created rules to deal with assholes in real life.  If CCP wants to be more than a margin player in the MMO world, they need to get a grip on some things in Eve.  I'll be interested to see what goes down when the whiner gets back at the end of April and tries to fuck with the trade hubs.


  1. Excellent post. Agree with a lot of your points.

  2. This GAME is light on content and most people understand that the players make the content. I like Mittens for his ability to create content in the game via loyalties and hatreds. You dismiss him yet I see you react more strongly than most to his actions. You say he and his ilk whine. I say you and yours rant. It makes more people grab their popcorn and cloak up in Jita to watch the show. It's all good!

    You presume that EVE is a cult/clique game because of people like Mittens and their evil, lawless ways. I would have to guess you never play any other online game, because they ALL are filled with such people. Ever play a game with preset respawn points and get camped and killed over and over? The difference is ease of play and accessibility, and all the rules put in place to stop such actions. If EVE had all the rules and were totally safe, it would remain a niche game because of its UI and complexity.

    I'm a nice guy in game and out. I've never ganked anyone, but I would reimburse Mittens several billion isk for the interesting content he brings. I would double the amount if he refrained from speaking drunk in public...

  3. I've honestly never understood the "questing for tears" that's so prevalent in Eve. In fact, I find it childish - I don't mind people ganiking miners etc, but when the reason is to extract tears; that's just pathetic.

    Furtunately, this has now changed. I thank Mittens for it; I LOVE the tears of that whining guy!! I finally understand, and I want MOAR ALEX TEARS :D

  4. Thank you for restoring my faith in the Eve community (even if just a little bit). I sometimes feel, mostly from reading the forums, that I'm surrounded by nothing but a giant group of assholes, and I occasionally have to question if this is the right game for me.

    My heart swells with joy that someone else out there sees what I do and knows how to put it in its place :D